Lets Hear it for The Boys: The Value of People

Men are people too.

Sounds like an idiotic, redundant statement, but it seems to be one that many women forget.

Since my childhood, I've been overhearing conversations (or been forced to be in a conversation) where men are berated and over-generalized to the point of disgust and distain.  It is dehumanizing.

And yes, I know some men that live up to what I've heard.

But, I also know a lot of amazing guys.  Men that are strong and weak and powerful and sensitive.  Men that laugh and cry and hurt and rejoice and seek hard after God's heart.  I know men who are willing to go anywhere and do anything for Jesus because they love Him so much.  I know men who will gladly give their lives for many or for just one.  I have often been brought to tears over their love and dedication for the gospel, and from their compassion for people of the world.

I have also been brought to tears over the oppression of such Godly men. It is a pattern  that is becoming a problem.  And, it comes through the mouths of women.  It comes through slander and a presumption that men are genetically wired to be mindless, irresponsible oafs.  The slander is born out of bitterness from hurts and over-generalizations that women too easily justify.  And, I get it.  I'm a girl too.  I've been mistreated by men before.  And, I've counseled many other women who have been abused and oppressed.  But, I'm not talking about social justice here.  I am talking about crushing the spirits of a people group by stating the idiocy of their gender as a whole because of the crimes of some.  I can assure you that the rights of women are not furthered by crushing all men with verbal sledge hammers.

It may seem subtle, but don't be fooled into thinking that this constant stream of negativity is not heard by the guys.  I have seen (up close) the hurts that come from this negative onslaught.  These words become deep-rooted problems among men and boys who are struggling to find their identity.  I have heard testimony from men who are pre-defeated as they embark on their quest to discover their identity and purpose among God's army.

You know the conversations and statements I'm talking about.  The ones that put limitations, demands, or gross generalizations on guys.  The ideas that spew the disgust that all men are idiots and perverts.  I don't need to write out all the conversations.  My point here is to help women realize what they are doing. Girls have to stop spitting those curses over the men for which we are crying out.  It is a deadly venom.  It is a manipulation with a tragic result.  Male-bashing is verbally castrating men, while inciting innocent women to anger and bitterness.

How is a boy or a man supposed to know his true identity in Christ, if women are constantly undercutting them for their faults (real or assumed)? The grace and love that girls demand from men is not being given by the women making the demands.  Somewhere in a desire for equal and fair treatment, in a desire to be loved and cherished....a cry has turned sour and many women are missing the fact that they are tearing down and putting limits on other PEOPLE.  Remember them.  Don't forget that the guys in your life are people too.  Is it fair to deny them the love, support and encouragement that we desire?  How can we expect a group of people to rise and walk and pursue Jesus' heart when we continue to kick their very legs out from under them?  We can't expect them to be strong and healthy leaders and lovers while degrading and discouraging them.  Jesus sees the value of them as people, as His own children.  We must as well.

No man can find his identity in Christ if he is constantly being told that his identity should be what women say it is, rather than serving them in order to show the Father's heart to their hearts.

Can you imagine the change that would occur if we truly served men, encouraged them, were faithful in action and in speech, lifted them up, and spurred them on to discover God's heart in more and more intimate ways?

Anger may rise up because I used the word serve.  But wait...isn't this what Jesus asked of true, powerful leaders?

While I wasn't talking about it before, I've realized in the course of writing this, that social injustices can only be corrected at the very heart of mankind. One's worldview must change and that changes in the heart.  We can only change men's hearts if God gives us access to them.  Jesus gave us the key to unlocking this door into people.  It is to become the servant of all.  Men and women. This is where true power lies.  If I want to be the kind of person, mother, wife, and friend that is powerful in all areas, I need to serve and love and care for anyone Jesus loves.  To serve people is to serve God.  Men are people too....even those men who say or act as if I am less than who I know I am.

In light of this information...I'm issuing a call to start a new army.

This army will value people and will go after them no matter who they are and no matter what the cost.  This army will feel this value of people so strongly that they will seek to love, serve, forgive and rescue others with a reckless abandonment that the world has yet to see.  This army will go to the places and people the church has chosen to overlook.  This commitment will mean an extreme death to self.  This death will include our rights, our reputations, our time, our finances.  There is no room for entitlement in your heart or trash talking from your mouth when you are consistently sacrificing yourself on the altar so someone else can know Jesus's love and His identity for them.  Wouldn't you want to be lavishly loved with this extreme force? This army will give it all over and over again to see ALL PEOPLE lifted up into His arms and thrust forward into their real destiny.  This army will not cripple itself by speaking curses against its own people.  This army will speak life.  And, we have the assurance of God Himself that we will win.

You should enlist.

Seeing Beyond

"Steep your life in God-reality, God-initiative, God-provisions.  Don't worry about missing out.  You'll find all your everyday human concerns will be met."  Matthew 6
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We have a friend who was imprisoned in Afghanistan by the Taliban.  She was accused of sharing her faith in God with people.  After many close calls, the 9/11 attacks, horrid living conditions, and eventually being locked in a shipping container and left to die, she (along with some others) were miraculously rescued by US troops.  We had prayed constantly for her during her time in prison, so you can imagine how thrilled we were when we finally got to see her months after her return.

After exchanging hugs and letting her know how much we had prayed for her, she said something I have never forgotten.  

"I didn't do prison as well as I had hoped I would," she said.

"What kind of statement was that?" I thought immediately.  I didn't know how to respond.

This statement has puzzled me for a long time.  I mean, what the heck does it mean to "do" prison well.  Who talks like that?  I could only imagine that just surviving so many frightening situations would be "doing it well."

But, through the rough terrain of the last years, God has been explaining it.

I, like many believers, have made some big commitments to God.  I have promised to serve Him joyfully when I was pumped up during worship, after hearing a great sermon, when I was recognized and praised by the church, and when I was well-fed, well clothed, and had a comfortable place to live.  

And then, as the circumstances have been stripped away, I find those commitments are greatly challenged.  It is quite another thing to have joy in the middle of different mission fields the world has chosen to ignore, when no one (including other believers) praises or encourages you, when we have been hungry, homeless, worried for our own children, while carrying the good news to others.

Somehow, the commitment doesn't seem so shiny and beautiful.  It seems like I might have spoken too soon, and joy gets washed over with disappointment.  And, disappointment easily turns into self-pity.

But, I had so hoped to be able to rejoice in our time of suffering, to rejoice in this time that I knew was part of the deal when serving Jesus.

But a prison is a prison.  No matter what, it is an unpleasant situation.  It is suffering and, no matter who you are, it is still a hardship, it is still pain.  And suddenly, or slowly we find ourselves there with what looks like nothing to the world, and all the glitz and glamour of what we are called to do is gone.  Our faith is staring us in the eyes and it looks like cold walls and bars and that our lives are going nowhere.  And when we try and move to change our circumstances, we find our wrists in shackles and bleeding because this life is no longer our own.  We falter a bit in the emptiness and the pain of the reality of what it actually means to be a true follower of Jesus.  

It's not what you see on TV.  It's not what you hear about in some great story while you are full of food and resting comfortably at church.  It's a hardship you didn't fully understand until you stared at that cell wall.  And, now, we are not only supposed to choose to have faith, but we are supposed to rejoice and be joyful about being imprisoned.  We are supposed to sing.

That is hard.  

Its even harder if there is no one who understands you.

Our family has felt the prison walls around us the past years.  We have never had such a clear vision of who we are and what we are to do for Jesus as we have right now.  Yet, we have again come face to face with our faith in a world where many are telling us to back down, conform to the world around us, and abandon all hope.  Believers shake their heads at our "irresponsibility" or our "insanity."  We should see the prison walls,  the obvious lack of provision, and the lack of God's favor for what they are......right?  We should focus on reality.  I did and I despaired.

And then, one day I was singing in the middle of another problem with finances and finding a place to live. I had my eyes closed and there He was....Jesus hanging on the cross....right in front of me.  And I saw His pain and I saw his suffering and I saw in His eyes that He didn't even mind.  I saw that in His pain, He was able to reach past the reality of what He was seeing and feeling.  I saw Him reach into God and find the strength to go forward into the pain and through the pain and I saw the deep love He feels for me even in those terrible moments.   I was undone.

I found then that even in my most generous, most selfless moment, I am selfish. I saw that I haven't been doing prison very well.  I saw how selfish I really am...how I don't want to do His will unless my circumstances work out.  I saw how I felt like I had a right to have the basics, like a place to live.  And, I saw that He gave up everything for me.  And, I saw (unfortunately) how I had been whining about what I was sacrificing instead of feeling the joy that comes from the great honor of being called AND chosen. I was instantly humbled in thinking over how I have handled my imprisonment for Jesus.  It was not done out of a joyful or selfless heart or spirit.  I have not been seeing Him beyond the pain and suffering.

In that moment, I saw beyond our circumstances to Him, the one that my heart loves.  And when His love called to me, I could lay down my rights.  I could lay down my children's rights (which is even hard to type).

So now, I get it.  I haven't done prison as well as I had hoped either.  I haven't rejoiced as often as I could have.  I have let the voices of the enemy eat at me and leave divots of frustration, disbelief, and anger where there should be joy.  I haven't been always looking into Jesus' eyes and seeing his suffering.  I haven't always felt the honor of sharing in His suffering.  I haven't always felt my deep love for Jesus melt away my discontentment with our situation. 

Serving Jesus IS wonderful, but it is far from easy.  We are in a world that doesn't understand this love that we feel and carry.  But because they long for it and cannot resolve this inner conflict, they will have us suffer for that.  In that suffering, we can lose hope because it is easier to listen to the mocking and the impossibility of what we believe in, than to see beyond to what we are trusting God to accomplish.  

Freedom and the ability to "do" prison well come when you can hold your shackled hands up over your head and REALLY sing at the top of your lungs.  

So now, I hold my chained hands up high because I volunteered for this place of honor.

It might look like the stupidest thing ever because I am singing with the metal cutting my wrists, but I can see beyond.  And I know it looks terrible because other believers have reminded us that we could ask for an escape and live comfortably.  But, I can see Him beyond the prison that it looks like I am in.  And while I would never suffer just for the sake of suffering, I will suffer with joy for His love.  

When this kind of true worship happens, when I can really worship when I am naked and imprisoned and homeless and hungry, then somehow people get changed.  

"But who would want this?" I often think in the midst of yet another desperate situation.

It is not a great story to tell in a newsletter or at a church gathering.  It doesn't look like any humans' idea of being responsible and anyone's idea of success.  But, those that are being changed are not seeing that...they are seeing beyond to what I see when I sing...the eyes of Jesus.  Others are seeing beyond to someone that loves them so deeply that they would volunteer to be bound to them.  They see beyond hardships to the value of knowing the value and worth of being loved.  That is reality.  God-reality.

The reality is that the opportunity to be a bondservant for Jesus isn't the life of a slave, but the call of a lover.  I love Him beyond the normal life everyone says is so dependable.  

Do you see what I see?

"Since this is the kind of life we have chosen, the life of the Spirit, let us make sure that we do not just hold it as an idea in our heads or a sentiment in our hearts, but work out its implications in every detail of our lives." Galatians 5

A Hidden People

I had a crazy dream one night while we were still living in Berlin.  I dreamed about a famous actor living with us.  As he began to share his story with us, we found that he had almost nothing in his life that was real. We found he was actually deaf, but his parents found it shameful and had trained him to read lips very well and to hide this fact from the world.  He was also very unhealthy and no one even knew his real name. We shared the love of our family with him and he was so open and so needy for love.  He planned on living with us for awhile, when he wasn't filming.  

When I awoke, I cannot even tell you how broken my heart was for him.  I actually wept for this man who was so broken and hidden and a person the world assumed "had it all." 

That was the beginning of yet another change in my heart.

You see, I have denied the validity and reality of the mission field that I now stand on.  I have considered people in the entertainment industry a lot of things....greedy, spoiled, overly-wealthy, self-centered, pitiful, impure, perverse.....the list is long.  Somewhere in that long list, I lost sight of the fact that they were human.  In my judgement on them, I made no room for their stories.  Judgement does something to us as believers.   It closes our eyes of compassion.  Judgement speaks but does not listen.  It makes assumptions and casts shadows.  Compassion and understanding are lost in all the shadows.  Until recently, I didn't know how clouded my eyes actually were.

Then, last week, I heard the truth of Hugh Hefner's story and it broke my heart.  (And yes, I said Hugh Hefner--the founder of Playboy magazine). We know a believer here in Hollywood that had to interview him for their job.  When they asked about his childhood, the bomb dropped.  It seems Hugh grew up in a family where love was neither spoken nor physically expressed.  His mother was a germaphobic person and he does not recall her ever holding, kissing or hugging him.  He did have a blanket that he slept with every night for comfort, that was trimmed in bunnies.  When he had some problems with his ears that could have resulted in deafness, his mother consented to let him have a puppy.  She had the puppy placed in a part of the house she did not go into.  Hugh was completely in charge of the dog.  He loved the dog and even gave it his bunny blanket.  The dog died suddenly 5 days later from a disease no one knew it had.  In this devastation, Hugh's mom burned his blanket in front of him to rid the house of germs.  Hugh told the interviewer, 

"So, I guess I am just a little boy still looking for love."

I sat in shock as I heard this and thought of all the times I haven't even wanted to hear this man's name, because of the perversion attached to it.  When, in reality, what he was craving and desperately looking for in all the perversion, is the love from his mommy.  Which, as we as believers know, is sourced in Jesus' very heart.

On a BBC TV show I saw a while ago a man said, "Real poverty isn't bad housing and having no money, it is never having been loved or respected."

Hugh Hefner is surrounded by wealth and fame and money, but is spiritually poor and dying from starvation.  He is only a boy who needed to be genuinely loved.   And so, my eyes have been made even clearer and I could see again why God has us in the depths of Hollywood.  Poverty is not limited to money.  I cannot waste more time denying the spiritually poor their birthrights.  They cannot be denied the truth because they don't stand for biblical principles.  Why would they?  If the law is all they have seen, mix that with being constantly judged, and the absence of love slams the door in their faces.

Don't misunderstand...I'm not talking about overlooking immorality and excusing or sugar-coating sin.  I'm talking about loving people because they are God's children and giving them the opportunity to have real love and real family extended to them so they can really see Jesus for the first time.  When His love and power invade peoples lives, then He changes morals and reverses character flaws and sheds light on the dark places.

Perhaps Jesus understood that the rich have a harder time getting into heaven than others because they are so often denied hearing and experiencing the true gospel.  And why?  Simply because of who they are and what they have. (Don't fret, I have read the scripture and I know what it says....I'm just speculating a bit.)

I think of myself and of some people I love.....

We would never deny ourselves or our loved ones the chance to experience the love of Jesus just because of their social status. We would fight against an injustice like that. But this is what has been happening. It is a reversed prejudice that we cannot hold to any longer.  In a judgement absent from all the facts, we have willingly turned our backs on an entire people group. Somehow, I unconsciously decided that these people were rejecting Jesus, when in fact, they have never seen Him.  They have only seen a perverted or distorted image of Him.

What if all your friends only wanted to be with you because of what you could do for them?  What if the only person who genuinely cared and was trying to help you was paid to listen to you...would that be genuine?  Money and fame are false loves because people love those things and not the real person.  We must be willing to love past the demonic strongholds that are concealing a broken person.

As believers we cannot allow our purity to become distorted into haughtiness that blockades the true love of Jesus from those that desperately need Him.

So, what I had known before was challenged.

And now, what I had known before has expanded.  

Everybody needs compassion.

Everybody needs a real chance to know love.

Everybody needs Jesus.

Everybody.

I've Got That Feeling

I've been feeling something since our arrival in Los Angeles.  I couldn't identify it until very early yesterday morning, when I woke up with that painful burning feeling in my lower stomach/ upper bowel area.  

It is the same feeling I get when I fly on an airplane.  This may come as a surprise to some, but I don't like to fly.  On our first overseas trip together, Chuck and I were on a plane that caught a bad wind landing and tipped the plane hard to the right.  Since that moment, flying has been a struggle.  Every time, every flight.  As much as God has required us to travel, that may seem ridiculous to you, but it is true.  Every time we fly, I have to summon a deep courage.  Every time, I have to make a choice to get on, to not panic, to try and relax and to not only do this for myself, but to extend peace to my children.

On a plane, I am living second-to-second in complete trust in Jesus.  When I step from the jetway to the airplane, I am always conscious that I am placing my life into His hands and there is no plan B if this doesn't work out.  If Jesus doesn't hold this large metal object together that I have chosen to get on with my entire family, all is lost.  But, I know that I cannot bend to anyone (not even fear of the unknown) except God.  I cannot let anything stop me from obeying His call to go to different nations.  I won't do that because I know that following Him is worth the risk.  Yet, I still react to this physically.  I still get that burning sensation in my body.

So, when I identified it the other night, I was surprised.  I laid in bed and told God, "I'm scared." There was no putting on a good Christian attitude and picking myself up and saying "you can do it Della!" because I can't.  We can't.  No one in our family can guarantee that tomorrow we will have a place to live, or money in the bank, or know anymore about how to find our house, or if we will have problems with our van.  None of us can do anything about anything in our lives right now, except live second-to-second believing that Jesus is holding us up and that we will arrive safely at the destination He has designed for us and promised us.  

So, why the burning feeling if you really trust in and believe in God?  

Because that understanding of what we have done is real.  The cost is real.  The fact that we are out here alone is real.  And while we know many are praying for us and standing along side us in the spirit and believe in us, we are ON the "airplane." The door has been slammed shut and locked tight, we have lifted off the ground and we are flying.  And there are those moments of turbulence that have come already that make us all look at each other and say, "What have we done?" "What have we agreed to?" So many have said what a great adventure this is and that is true.  Not everyone gets to see what we have seen and what we see now.  We get a glimpse of the earth from the sky, of the greatness of what He has called us to.  It is glorious, but it is very risky.  We are committed now.  We agreed to this.  We agreed to go into the war zone with no back-up plan.  He is the only thing that can keep us from falling.  He is our only plan.  And that looks foolish. And, that activates my fear in God.  That fear is greater than my fear of looking foolish.  That is what sets the inner part of me on fire. 

This area in my body that burns was once considered seat of the soul.  He has been showing me that when my faith is activated, my soul burns.  It is like one of those pictures of the brain that you see where the active parts are lit up. While the inactive parts are still present they are not "burning." My faith is always present, because it was a gift from God.  It doesn't leave, but when it is activated it burns within me.

Fear of God is the beginning of wisdom.

Ever heard that scripture?  This fear of God that is talked about in the Bible is not contradictory to the God of love we all choose to know.  It is the God who, if He doesn't do everything, then we fail. If He doesn't sustain us, we die.  It is that feeling, that burning of knowing who He is in our lives second to second.  It is trusting that despite what is at stake.  I could take the control back, remove the risk and relax completely and go to sleep.  But, instead, we said "OK" to this.  We committed to it.  So we are flying into wisdom.  Our fear of God burns within us and fills us with courage.  That burning feeling means LIFE.  We are living second-to-second.......burning with holy fear and courage and blazing a trail forward.  And it is not glamorous or easy or relaxing, but He is good and I can fully feel Him there, in that deep part of me. 

It is time.  It is time to awaken to the holiness of life......

Dangerous Liaisons

I hear people talking all the time that do not even know they are in prison.  Somehow, Jesus' children have mixed the enemies' lies into a big pot with the truth of what Jesus tells us and come up with a do-it-yourself prison cell called "common sense." Common sense is really just a cover word for control and control is fear cloaked in a socially acceptable format.  I know it sounds rude for me to say it, but wake-up calls are rarely thought of otherwise.

I heard a guy speak at a church awhile back.  He had been asked to give a testimony.  He began to reveal some very personal fears he had.  He gave details of how he had struggled against some fears for a long time.  He talked about the future and his health concerns.  He was honest about a surgery that was coming and how he was really scared.  He even talked about people he was scared of and why he was scared of them.  I could see he was trying to be very vulnerable.  I really felt his fears and understood how they were so real to him.  There was a lot of uncertainty about his future.  There was a lot of doubt in him that the outcome of his situation would be good.  And, from a "common sense" standpoint, he had a legitimate reason to be afraid.  He did a great job expressing these fears.

Then he began to talk about Jesus and how he knew Jesus would take care of him.  Suddenly, it seemed like he was VERY nervous.  He stumbled over his words.  His train of thought was disjointed and seemed confused.  I could follow him, but something was vastly different in his speaking now.  I thought I was being too critical of him (one too many speech classes in college).  He pulled out his notes to try and collect his thoughts and get back on track.....and as his hands shook and his speech faltered, I heard God speak clearly,

"My people are more intimate with their fears than they are with me."

Wow.  I thought of how we talk about what we fear in such detail, of how we even relate to one another in the fears.  I thought of the ease in which I can express my knowledge of what I am afraid of.....how I identify with those fears.....of how much time I spend with those fears.  

And then, the stark realization came.....

We are sleeping with fear and still trying to go home and crawl into bed with our faithful spouse.  Then, we cannot seem to figure out why there is no deep intimacy between us and our one, true lover.  True intimacy can only be shared monogamously.  True intimacy is glorious.  Everyone really wants true intimacy and impurities leave us frustrated and stunted and discontent.

Common sense is nothing more than an extramarital affair that pollutes from the inside-out.  It has become an idol that has been enthroned by our society and it draws us, lures us away from Jesus.  Fear and control hiding as common sense are the voices of whores coaxing us into a place we would not knowingly go....and when we turn around, the bars are already shutting behind us.  And the other prisoners are whispering "this is just normal," "this is reality," you'll get used to this after awhile" or "your passions and dreams were just childhood fantasies, you are grown-up now," until you accept your surroundings and learn to live without freedom.

So, we have to turn from the whispers and look deep into the eyes of our lover and see Him embrace us with His eyes.  Feel Him hold your hand and pull you into His chest.  Feel Him hold your heart.  Our hearts will begin to beat with His.  His heartbeat is like no other and it beats for you in its own particular rhythm.  It doesn't follow a common sense pattern.  As you listen to it, your shape will begin to change and you will find you don't look like everyone else.  You will find you can slip through the bars and you cannot be held by the common sense prison anymore.  Don't be afraid to not be in control, He is a faithful lover that will never leave you.  He doesn't make sense and he is certainly not common.  He is His own shape.  He is the shape we want to be.

Returning

We were on the North Carolina coast with my sister and her husband for a vacation. It was late afternoon and the tide had gone out. Josiah and Emily and I had walked down the beach a bit. Some tide pools had formed in the sand. There were some rather large fish trapped in these tide pools and we decided to see if we could catch them in our hands. It quickly became the best game ever. They were slimy and slippery and we laughed deep belly laughs as they shot out of our hands. The sun was so warm and I could smell our skin turning golden brown. Sunset began and the light glistened off of Emily's curls and Josiah's white blonde hair. Emily was the first to trap a fish and she was so excited her little arms shook as she held the fish up for us to see. We cheered and put the fish in our sand bucket that was filled with water and started to "hunt" again. In that moment there were no thoughts about the past year, no sadness over the death of our baby boy, no worries about the future, and no thoughts about how to put our lives back together. In fact, there were no thoughts at all, there was only purity. The troubles of living melted into the sun that now sat on the horizon in a golden pool of ocean. As we ran together down the beach to show Daddy our buckets full of hand-trapped fish, there was nothing in our minds but the joy of living right now. Covered in sand and salt we shook and showed our fish and literally squealed with delight as we set them free in the ocean while Daddy grinned at our joy from the shore. It wasn't until hours later I realized I had stopped feeling the constant pain that had gnawed at my heart since JohnMark's death. I smiled to myself as I recognized the purity of Jesus' presence. He gave us that moment and now, years later, I can still close my eyes and be back on that beach in the goodness of that moment. It is a gift I never get to stop opening.

 But how do I live there, in that pure state?

 I want purity because I have experienced purity.

 Purity. I've heard that word my whole life. In fact, one of the first Christian books I read was called "Passion and Purity." I have always associated it with morality. It has always been a cry of youth leaders to their youth to remain pure before marriage. It is a call to married people to keep their marriage bed pure. And it is true, it is all that. But it is more than a cry for a moral life. Somewhere deep in my soul I am searching for it. I am searching to find myself. I am pure. I was made that way. I want to go back there. I want to live and love in a constant state of pre-life purity because that is who I really am. I want to live in that beach-fish-catching state of that day so many years ago.

 Many will read this and say that this is unrealistic. I agree. It is impossible and impractical to dream this way. But, I am. The longing has turned into a journey. And, my God is fully able to complete the good work He began in me. He is the author of me, so my desires will always be outside of this reality. So, here I go....returning to myself as I was created in Jesus. I can only find myself inside of Him.

 This is not some self-help, out of body experience I am looking for. This is me, seeking to live supernaturally in a natural world. This is the power of love embodied in a tangible force. This is eyes to see what is unseen by most, despite my surroundings. This is living in a moment of eternal value. This is really living.

 "Earth's crammed with heaven, 

 And every common bush afire with God, 

But only he who sees takes off his shoes; 

The rest sit round it and pluck blackberries." 

 -Elizabeth Barrett Browning

Approaching Home Boldly

I 'm getting a little worn out listening to everyone sing about God. How's that for a line from a missionary who helps run a worship ministry? What I'm saying is that I seem to keep hearing people sing about God and hearing how little they know Him themselves. It makes me sad and tired. Funny how you can really hear the difference in just the way a song plays out or in a conversation. God is great and mighty and all-powerful and all that stuff.....of course...and that demands singing about because He is worth it. But lately, it seems to me that there is an emptiness to many of these songs. While that may sound like blasphemy to a bunch of people, it's not. The emptiness in declaring God's almightiness comes when that's all we know. So many "Christians" are living on rumors and stories of someone else's relationship with Jesus. But, I am THE BRIDE of Christ. And brides don't live on rumors of their spouses, they live on an intimate knowledge of their husband!

The stories we hear are testimonies. These testimonies are meant to give us hunger for the real Jesus so we can get through the "Holy, Holy, Holy, Alpha and Omega, First and Last, Almighty, God of Abraham and everyone else but me" Jesus and find out what all that intimacy is that Solomon keeps singing about. Now THAT is a worship song I want to sing. Lets sing that song that comes from the heart of someone who has actually been in bed with Jesus.

I'm not just talking about busting through the emptiness of religion, either. I am talking about deep, deep, deep knowledge of this one we have served for so long and not known why. People are starting to get suspicious as to why we would serve someone we have never seen. Heck, that suspicion and lack of deep love for Jesus in my heart is what has plunged me forward. I have to know Him. I've really been allowed to see more of who Jesus really is the past 6 months than I have in the last 6 years. And, the deeper He takes me, the less like super-almighty, untouchable God He seems to me; and more and more I see my lover and my friend. Meanwhile, I am overwhelmed by the fact that God, with all those titles, has an intimate spot just for me in Him. That just makes the intimacy more sweet and a lot of those lofty songs seem so much like abandoned mansions--glorious to look at for tourists, but not really home.

Well, I want to be home. I want to live with Jesus. And, trust me, when you really begin to see Him, you won't wanna just sing about how great He is-- you're gonna want to go to your secret garden with Him and become part of Him and then carry His fragrance all over you all the time--inside and out. Lovers who are intimate smell like each other. I want to smell like Him.

I see a time coming when many of us won't even be able to get off the floor most of the day because we just don't want to. We're going to start understanding His "weighty glory" that people talk charismatically about all the time. We will know Him. When we do, then we will know that His touch is the touch of a real lover and that touch is interactive! His love overwhelms us while inciting us to action and rest and peace all at the same time. This lover is the one who invented love! That's what we will find in the holy of holies. That is what I want.

I know now that Jesus is all mine and I am all His. There is an intimacy that blazes between us and that is always calling me deeper into Him. It is having His liquid love rush over me and through me that causes me to fully know what Holy really means. I am set apart just for Him. And, when you are set apart by the most Almighty, Holy, Highly Exalted King of Heaven, you know you are very, very special. That is me. And there is room for you in Him. Let's go in and go home.